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april is when i see my new psychiatrist. my old one fired me. wtf? this what my brain is doing to me these days. not even vaguely hiding things in symbolism. this is why i am afraid: my most recent dream this morning. i was…

if i were to go back and read all my old posts (many of which are no longer up, i need to fix that), i bet most of them are complaining. i bet most of them are about fear. or hurt. sure, part of my…

my roommate died Sept 13th. lucy called 911 at 7am. i was told her heart stopped when they transferred her to the gurney. they worked on her for an hour. couldn't bring her back. we had these rituals that are gone. the night before we…

i have had 3 dreams (in like the last 4 days) of patrick "betraying" me. while i did not want to get divorced, patrick never betrayed me. all the dreams have him being with other women. and it hurts SO BADLY. the dream is emotionally painful.

so, this weekend i had some closure that has stopped a loop in my brain. i visited with the "boy who broke my heart" to see how i felt about him. was it getting better? am i getting over the heartache? (also a thing about…