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there are two men that i am intimate with these days. i have known both for a number of years. one i have been playing with, off and on, since shortly after we met. the other i have been playing with, quite steadily, for the…

i believe that i am worthy of love and belonging. i’ve wondered, sometimes, why I can’t seem to experience it. but I am totally worth it. everyone is (except maybe sociopaths, but that is another blog). am i not compassionate? compassion: sympathetic consciousness of others'…

had dinner with my friend noah tonight. he and i met on OKC. he is cool. we talked about dating a bunch. it helped me evolve some of the thoughts that have been going through my head lately. we agreed that i should make myself…

i keep trying to blog and i start and i have so much to say i don't know where to start or how to say it and then i hit draft and go away again. part of it is fear too. i think i am…

i am on autopilot a lot. or at least very inside my head. example: patient asked for a koband around his arm to hold his IV in place. i started to wrap it, when the day nurse noticed that the catheter had come completely out.