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my best friend once explained her experience with depression as a wave. she said one minute she was fine and then next a wave of sadness overcame her. that isn't how it feels to me. everything is just so hard. everything i have to do,…

i woke up at 0415 this morning to go pee. which is quite an ordeal in my waist cincher and spanx. then i went back to sleep and had a horrible nightmare. it tainted my entire day. it has tainted my psyche. i dreamt i…

tonight i spent the evening on the couch. today was my "friday", i am off for the next two days (and donating platelets!). roommate was out with her man. gandalf and i chilled. binge watched "criminal minds", as we do. paid some bills. went through…

which was a mistake. it was 11p-7a. my team was cliquey and i had way too much time to think. saw Lawrence of Arabia in 70mm yesterday. it was amazing. i'd forgotten half the film. lawrence was crazy and his death TOTALLY ironic. but damn,…

i got a strange phone call last night. it was from a playmate from college. i think i have spoken to him once prior to now, since college. and i think that was texting on fb or something. he called me because he had just…